50 Shades

Is it wrong that I spent more than half of the movie whising to be Christian just so I could hit Anastasia?. No, I am not a sadist I just what to bitchslap her so she realizes what a psycho Mr. Grey is.

My oldest friend and I were in town last week and for the first time in years we actually made plans to catch a movie, you know, just like old times. Even though we chose wednesday night to go, which happens to be the busiest night for the theather we where surprised by the lack of people actually in line. Surprise, surprise, American Snipper was sold out, and the only other movie not starting two hours later was 50 Shades of Grey. 

“Two, for 50 Shades”. Now, at this moment of the night my positive attitude kicked in, maybe I can do a comparision between the book I didn’t completely read and the movie I will only half watch. 

As the movie trailers rolled I remember the conversation I had just had the day before with a old neighbor, she is a lady in her forties and she did read the book and watched the movie, she also gave me some advice for when I went to see it myself. What she said was I should always keep in mind how a normal relationship should evolve, and how true love makes you feel.

She was right, as I remembered how my relationships had been it was hard not to burst into laughter when the romantic music started to play in the background of an obviously controlling and sick scene. This is not a movie about love, is a movie about a relationship that is not going to end well, unless… oh wait it is Hollywood it is going to end well.

Back to the movie, it was also hard not to notice certain similarities with Twilight… 

1. Christian picks her up at the bar because she is in danger. Edward saves Bella when she decides to walk alone in an alley.

2. Fancy cars, nice clothes, piano. Fancy cars, nice clothes, piano.

3. Ana has to travel to see her mom. Bella has to travel to see her mom.

4. Constant need to keep her safe from himself.

5. Talks in the woods.

Basically the same thing and I get it started as Twilight fanfiction but you would think that her publisher would make some adjustments right? Let’s just say I wouldn’t be surprised if by the end of the series we found out Christian is actually Edward before he met Bella, you know all those years he didn’t live with the Cullens.

An while we sat there laughing out loud, watching other groups of girls really getting into the movie and eating more popcorn than my stomach could handle, we realized that maybe our previous relationships weren’t all that bad, and that we have experienced true love. 

Also if someone asks me if I want to be suspended, fisted or any other terms from the movie, I can now know what that someone is talking about and say “No, thank you, I rather keep my vagina just like it is now.”

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